Snowpiercer Reenacted in GTA Except It’s Not Snowing and It’s Really Hard to Get ON the Train

How do you get on the train in GTAV? You walk up to it and press the jump/climb button. That’s it. We figured it out in literally the first minute of this video. And yet….and YET, somehow it is like the hardest thing ever for all three of us to get on the train at the same time.

Snowpiercer was a movie that I watched. It got a lot of accolades from movie nerds at the time, but with the benefit of hindsight I do not think it will be one people go back to over and over again. For one thing the allegory is nakedly obvious. And then the thing that the allegory says is plainly just wrong. You don’t have to destroy the system to fix it. Draining the swamp will just cause ecological upheaval.

I do wish Rockstar would make the train just SLIGHTLY less impossible to stop. Currently I don’t even think it’s physics enabled. It’s essentially just an moving piece of landscape. Piling 800 tanks in front of it does nothing. Shooting the engineer does nothing. Defunding infrastructure spending for the railroad does nothing. If they ever get around to making GTA 6 I’d love to see some destructible environments. Like a bridge you could blow up and take out the train. It wouldn’t STAY blown up obviously because that is the manner of things in Grand Theft Auto. It probably won’t happen, but you can’t blame a guy for dreaming.

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